As Big As a Maine Blueberry

Reptar is the size of a blueberry this week, and we are a lot more confident that everything will be fine. I went in on Tuesday for a follow up appointment from my ER visit, and the ultrasound tech saw the heartbeat!

Because of a whole slew of reasons, I will be changing doctors. I really don't like how negative and uncaring my OB is, so off to another practice we go! Hopefully the new one will allow me to look at the ultrasound and I will be able to se the heartbeat, or even the entire baby, myself.

My morning sickness has kicked in, and I am feeling a good amount of round ligament pains. My pants no longer fit; I am stuck with yoga pants until I give in a get a few pairs of maternity pants. I'm feeling good even though physically I'm not going that well.
I would rather have symptoms than not, so yay for my ability to eat anything but dairy products!

On the good news front, we are super excited for our friends, Trey and Lauren, who will be tying the knot! We love you both!

The Scariest 5 Hours of My Life

Yesterday, around 3.30, I started bleeding. B came home immediately and took me to the ER, where I had a pelvic exam, an external and an internal ultrasound. Thankfully, Reptar is still there, hanging out in his yoke sack. I had a cyst which ruptured, which probably caused the bleeding and the hematoma that they found.

I thought for sure that this was the end, and I was absolutely devastated. Thankfully, we still have an 80% chance that this will be a healthy, viable pregnancy. The 20% chance that something will go wrong is simply because I have had bleeding at all.

So here is to hoping that I am in that 80%. This pregnancy really seems like it is meant to be; I get to be pregnant in the fall and winter, February's birthstone is amethyst, and Reptar will be almost a year old for all of the big holidays in 2011.

So please pray (if you do) that Reptar snuggles in and sticks. We both really want this baby, and we want him to grow up and lead a wonderful, fulfilled life. So as B announced yesterday, Reptar is grounded until further notice.

6 weeks down

Reptar is the size of a sweet pea now, and is making me SUPER anxious. My hormones are driving B crazy, and my morning sickness is starting up. Unfortunately, it is acting more like my Crohn's issues than traditional morning sickness. I don't know whether to hope that it continues like this or that I graduate to a more traditional level of discomfort.

I called the doctor's office yesterday to get a better idea of what to expect at our first appointment, which is July 16th. We will have a bit of a busy hour doing different tests and the like. We won't get to have an ultrasound, which disappoints me. I honestly don't like that I'm not going to be able to see the doctor for such a long time, but I haven't decided if that is because I feel like I need to be monitored more closely, or if I am just used to doctors wanting to see me more than not.

Right now I am working on being more positive. Once I get to the doctor I will feel a lot better, but I am trying to enjoy every little thing about this pregnancy. I think I'm going to start by forcing B to treat me to ice cream this evening!

I've hit 5 weeks!

It is absolutely amazing how pregnant I already feel. I am exhausted all of the time, I am so sore and crampy, and my sense of smell has become uncomfortably acute. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world!

We have been planning on how to turn our condo into a baby safe, grandparent friendly space. I think our plan will work, but really only time will tell. I think we will actually start to turn those plans into reality once I am done with NS, because until that is done I will be too busy to really get things done the way I want to.

Reptar is the size of an appleseed this week, and I couldn't be more awed. I am absolutely terrified that something is going to happen. I almost can't bring myself to think too much about this amazing life growing inside of me because I am too scared to think how I would feel if I didn't get to meet him. I am trying to stay calm, busy, and positive, but the hormones running through my system are not helping matters at all!

On a positive note, for some reason I am pretty sure that Reptar is a boy. Brian would be thrilled!

We got our BFP!!!

Also known as a "Big Fat Positive"!

On Sunday, I got super anxious for no reason. Everything was setting me off...my chart, breakfast, facebook. It was completely ridiculous. I decided to give myself a "reality check" by taking a pregnancy test. I was sure that it would be negative...but there was a VERY faint line. I immediately ran to our bedroom to get B's opinion of the line. He assured me it was there and that I was not crazy, but he didn't seem very excited. I was, of course, not very happy with him, but I gave him his "You're Going To Be A Daddy" present.

I immediately called my parents and told them our wonderful news. I spent the rest of the afternoon pulling the test back out of the trash, panicking about anything that crossed my mind and calling friends and family. Zadie was so happy he almost toasted us in the car!

By the next day, B was STILL not excited. I was starting to doubt the line that I saw. I took another test, and the exact same faint line showed up. I showed that one to B as well, and he told me not to get my hopes up. I was devastated. I asked him if he actually saw either line and he told me that he thought that I was imagining them.

For the rest of the day I questioned whether or not I had actually seen anything. I was torn between knowing I was pregnant and thinking that I had been fooled by evaporation lines. Finally I went to Walgreens and bought a package of digital tests. I came home with the box hidden in my purse, ran to the bathroom, and took the test. It took the entire five minutes for the results...but finally the word "Pregnant" showed up.

I screamed for B to come look at the test, and he was so happy that it took him almost 10 minutes to yell at me for "wasting" money.

B is now excited, terrified, and overwhelmed...which is exactly how I am feeling! We have started to plan a little bit, but we have honestly just been focusing on how happy we are that Reptar stuck!