6 weeks down

Reptar is the size of a sweet pea now, and is making me SUPER anxious. My hormones are driving B crazy, and my morning sickness is starting up. Unfortunately, it is acting more like my Crohn's issues than traditional morning sickness. I don't know whether to hope that it continues like this or that I graduate to a more traditional level of discomfort.

I called the doctor's office yesterday to get a better idea of what to expect at our first appointment, which is July 16th. We will have a bit of a busy hour doing different tests and the like. We won't get to have an ultrasound, which disappoints me. I honestly don't like that I'm not going to be able to see the doctor for such a long time, but I haven't decided if that is because I feel like I need to be monitored more closely, or if I am just used to doctors wanting to see me more than not.

Right now I am working on being more positive. Once I get to the doctor I will feel a lot better, but I am trying to enjoy every little thing about this pregnancy. I think I'm going to start by forcing B to treat me to ice cream this evening!

I've hit 5 weeks!

It is absolutely amazing how pregnant I already feel. I am exhausted all of the time, I am so sore and crampy, and my sense of smell has become uncomfortably acute. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world!

We have been planning on how to turn our condo into a baby safe, grandparent friendly space. I think our plan will work, but really only time will tell. I think we will actually start to turn those plans into reality once I am done with NS, because until that is done I will be too busy to really get things done the way I want to.

Reptar is the size of an appleseed this week, and I couldn't be more awed. I am absolutely terrified that something is going to happen. I almost can't bring myself to think too much about this amazing life growing inside of me because I am too scared to think how I would feel if I didn't get to meet him. I am trying to stay calm, busy, and positive, but the hormones running through my system are not helping matters at all!

On a positive note, for some reason I am pretty sure that Reptar is a boy. Brian would be thrilled!

We got our BFP!!!

Also known as a "Big Fat Positive"!

On Sunday, I got super anxious for no reason. Everything was setting me off...my chart, breakfast, facebook. It was completely ridiculous. I decided to give myself a "reality check" by taking a pregnancy test. I was sure that it would be negative...but there was a VERY faint line. I immediately ran to our bedroom to get B's opinion of the line. He assured me it was there and that I was not crazy, but he didn't seem very excited. I was, of course, not very happy with him, but I gave him his "You're Going To Be A Daddy" present.

I immediately called my parents and told them our wonderful news. I spent the rest of the afternoon pulling the test back out of the trash, panicking about anything that crossed my mind and calling friends and family. Zadie was so happy he almost toasted us in the car!

By the next day, B was STILL not excited. I was starting to doubt the line that I saw. I took another test, and the exact same faint line showed up. I showed that one to B as well, and he told me not to get my hopes up. I was devastated. I asked him if he actually saw either line and he told me that he thought that I was imagining them.

For the rest of the day I questioned whether or not I had actually seen anything. I was torn between knowing I was pregnant and thinking that I had been fooled by evaporation lines. Finally I went to Walgreens and bought a package of digital tests. I came home with the box hidden in my purse, ran to the bathroom, and took the test. It took the entire five minutes for the results...but finally the word "Pregnant" showed up.

I screamed for B to come look at the test, and he was so happy that it took him almost 10 minutes to yell at me for "wasting" money.

B is now excited, terrified, and overwhelmed...which is exactly how I am feeling! We have started to plan a little bit, but we have honestly just been focusing on how happy we are that Reptar stuck!

Cycle 1 is here!

We went to the doctor yesterday, and we officially started our first cycle of trying to conceive! Brian recorded my basal body temperature (BBT) for me this morning, which was a little weird. I was so anxious that I kept waking up. I'm pretty sure that my temp was off because of it, but I know that they will be wonky for the first few days so I am okay with the "weird" temp. Other than that, we are off to a good start!

The doctor was really positive, and was on board with the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) plan we have. She did seem to think we should utilize ovulation predictor kits (OPK) more than we were planning, but I feel confident that we will be fine until at least cycle 6. That being said, we would use them beforehand if my cycles seem to be wonky.

Brian is hoping that we get pregnant right away so that we can get the 2010 tax credit, and he has been teasing Duke about how we are "trying to replace" him. Duke has been really weird since I got home, but that is probably because he knows I am in a bit more pain than normal. I have been cuddling with him as much as he will let me, so hopefully he'll cheer up soon!

Backstory...

As most of you know, I quit my job in November (even if my last day wasn't until Jan. 22). B and I decided that instead of me getting another job right away, I would take some time to get my health back on track. After thinking about it for a while, we talked about how I only wanted to take time off when we had children. We came to the decision that I would try to get healthy for a month or two, and then we would try to conceive (TTC). We are both worried about how my digestive issues will affect our ability to get pregnant, so we wanted to give ourselves every possible chance to get it right.

Things are off to a really good start. My stomach has been more calm lately, and so have I. I am able to keep the house in great condition, which was a pain this fall with it being on the market. I am able to make most of our meals from scratch, which B and my stomach love. I am about to start a major Spring cleaning project next week, and even Duke seems to be much happier with the Mommy Dog being home.

I am not happy about the way all of this had to come about, but the results are everything that I had no clue that I needed. I am healthier when I am happy, and I have always wanted a big family. So on March 16, CD1 begins for us. Wish us luck!